Time to get real.....

Sunday, November 29, 2009

I HAVE BEEN CHEATING WITH MY LAPBAND!

Phew!

There, it has been said. I've admitted it. Now it's time to build a bridge and get over it!

I did have a public journal at the beginning of this journey which I made private as I was worried about being 'found out'. I have realised that I need the support that I was getting when I had this journal public. I really do not have a support network locally as only a couple of people in my town know I've had the band done.

I have had my band now for 10 months. Yes I have lost weight, but I am not using my band to it's full advantage.

My heaviest weight was 109kg. I was 104kg when I was banded. My lowest weight with the band has been 86kg and at the moment I am hovering around 91kg.

Over the past couple of months and especially while I have been away on holidays I have returned to some old habits. I have been drinking during meals and snacking on the wrong types of food and alcohol has well and truly slipped back into my daily routine.

The band is just a tool that is there to help us. If we don't follow the rules, it doesn't work!

So I have booked in for a fill tomorrow morning with my local GP. Even when I don't drink during meals I don't have much restriction so a good fill will help with that. I have also booked an appointment on my one year bandiversary with my surgeon Dr Blair Bowden. This gives me just over 8 weeks to get my butt into gear on the exercise and eating front.

I am going to join my local gym tomorrow and make sure I schedule my workouts into my work appointment book. They run circuit and boxing classes which totally kick your butt. I will make sure that I do not allow appointments with clients to clash with the scheduled times of the classes. I am going to get the timetable today on my way to work and mark the times out of my diary. NO IFS, BUTS OR MAYBES! 2010 is going to be the year of ME!

It's time for me to get strong. I put others first, especially in my work. Often I will book appointments during my lunch break, after hours and on my days off. I put clients before my husband and my marriage and even worse, before my health. WELL NO MORE! This is going to be one of the hardest things to do, but I have to do it. I have let my work rule me for the past three years, now it's time for me to rule my work.

I have been given such a great opportunity with the lapband. I look back over past journal entries and it has given my strength like I have never had before. THE BAND WORKS! I just need to make sure I am following the rules, and follow the rules I will!